Own your own "stuff"

We will each examine our own faults before focusing on what others may have done wrong (Matt. 7:3-5).

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

A few observations:

• The context of these verses is not judging (in the same way you judge others you will be judged)
• The problem is not seeing a fault (speck) in another, it is not owning our own faults (log)
• We need to own and deal with our stuff first before being concerned with others.

So how do we do this practically? Here are a few thoughts:

• A key question to prayerfully consider is “how have I contributed to this problem and what do I need to do to resolve it”. Said another way, “ How can I show Jesus work in me by taking responsibility for my contribution to this conflict” (Peacemaker p. 75). We need to lay aside our own anger and spend some significant time with the Lord asking Him to reveal anything we need to own (Ps. 139:23-24)
• It may be helpful to ask others who are aware of the problem and who are willing to speak the truth in love to help us with this (we are often blind to our own issues). If you do this, please be sure you let the other person know you want their honest feedback and be ready to receive it without being defensive.
• Be committed to owning and dealing with whatever is revealed by confessing to the Lord and the other person. I have found these Seven A’s of confession (Peacemaker Ministries) very Helpful:

1. Address everyone involved
2. Avoid if, but, and maybe
3. Admit specifically what you have done (actions & attitudes)
4. Acknowledge the hurt you caused
5. Accept the consequences
6. Alter your behavior
7. Ask for forgiveness (and allow time)

I recently had an opportunity to apply these principles and it really worked. I look forward to seeing what God does as we put these principles into practice.

As always I would love any thoughts and feedback you may have!