If an offense is too serious to overlook, or if we think someone may have something against us, we will go promptly to seek reconciliation.
“So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift”. (Mt. 5:23-24)
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother”. (Mt. 18:15)
Wow, this can be challenging. Why should we initiate reconciliation with someone even if we don’t want to? There are several reasons:
• God commands it (notice it doesn’t say only go if you are at fault, either way we are to seek reconciliation).
• Jesus reputation and our witness to others is affected by the peace and unity we have with other believers ( John 13:35, 17: 20-23).
• It demonstrates love for your brother. If they have anger or resentment towards you it will not only hinder their relationship with you but with God (Eph. 4:3-31).
• It is a good way to live out “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (Rom. 12:18).
Reconciliation does need both parties cooperation, and we are to pursue it, but the only person we really have control over is ourselves. Living out this principle ensures we are doing our part. Living with tension between you and another person can rob your joy, hinder your relationship with God, destroy your witness, and even affect your health. Do all you can to seek reconciliation with others. Next week we will talk about how to approach someone.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Forgiving Others
If an offense is too serious to overlook, we will forgive as Christ forgave us; freely offering forgiveness and granting it when others repent (Eph 4:32)
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
So how does God in Christ forgive us? I know this is a little longer than what I usually communicate, but I think that part of what was communicated in our training last spring is helpful.
What is forgiveness?
• Forgiveness is an act of will, not a feeling.
• Forgiveness is actively deciding not to think or talk about what others have done to hurt us; it is not passively forgetting.
• Forgiveness says, “We both know that what you did was wrong and without excuse. But since God has forgiven me, I forgive you.” Forgiveness is not excusing.
• Forgiveness does not deny or minimize the hurt.
Forgiveness is a Decision, it is a choice to cancel debt owed/release someone from liability to suffer punishment or penalty (including penalty of being separated from us).
Forgiveness may be described as a decision to make these four promises:
• I will not dwell on this incident.
• I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.
• I will not talk to others about this incident.
• I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.
When Should You Forgive?
We are always to offer forgiveness as God modeled forgiveness of us. He freely offers us forgiveness not based on anything we have done to earn it, and He grants it when we turn to Him in faith (repent). God freely offers forgiveness in order that our relationship might be restored with him. God’s forgiveness is available, but at a very high cost, the death of His own son. Likewise, we are to offer forgiveness, desiring a restored relationship with others, being willing to incur whatever the cost, to make it happen. Jesus said, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him” (Luke 17:3). We need to pray for those who sin against us, that they will repent, accept our forgiveness, and that we will enjoy a restored relationship with them.
This material is taken from Ken Sande’s book The Peacemaker I would strongly recommend reading chapter 10 on forgiveness.
As always, I would love any feedback you may have!
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
So how does God in Christ forgive us? I know this is a little longer than what I usually communicate, but I think that part of what was communicated in our training last spring is helpful.
What is forgiveness?
• Forgiveness is an act of will, not a feeling.
• Forgiveness is actively deciding not to think or talk about what others have done to hurt us; it is not passively forgetting.
• Forgiveness says, “We both know that what you did was wrong and without excuse. But since God has forgiven me, I forgive you.” Forgiveness is not excusing.
• Forgiveness does not deny or minimize the hurt.
Forgiveness is a Decision, it is a choice to cancel debt owed/release someone from liability to suffer punishment or penalty (including penalty of being separated from us).
Forgiveness may be described as a decision to make these four promises:
• I will not dwell on this incident.
• I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.
• I will not talk to others about this incident.
• I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.
When Should You Forgive?
We are always to offer forgiveness as God modeled forgiveness of us. He freely offers us forgiveness not based on anything we have done to earn it, and He grants it when we turn to Him in faith (repent). God freely offers forgiveness in order that our relationship might be restored with him. God’s forgiveness is available, but at a very high cost, the death of His own son. Likewise, we are to offer forgiveness, desiring a restored relationship with others, being willing to incur whatever the cost, to make it happen. Jesus said, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him” (Luke 17:3). We need to pray for those who sin against us, that they will repent, accept our forgiveness, and that we will enjoy a restored relationship with them.
This material is taken from Ken Sande’s book The Peacemaker I would strongly recommend reading chapter 10 on forgiveness.
As always, I would love any feedback you may have!
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