"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:3-4)
As Christ considered our interests above his own, we will also endeavor to look out for others’ interests.
What could this look like?
• Go up to and introduce yourself to people you don’t know
• Anticipate needs and offer to help without being asked
• Be quick to listen and slow to speak
• Take time out of a busy day to call others to see how they are doing
• Go to church with the attitude of "what can I do for the body" rather than" what can the body do for me."
• Admit when I am wrong to others in the church rather than protecting my reputation.
• Offer to baby sit for free so a couple can have a date night
• Be willing to sacrifice, be inconvenienced, or take a risk, for others.
• Become a member of the church body, not for your own benefit, but for the benefit of others
• Make a meal for someone who is in need
• Be on time for the service
• Alter your preferred method of communication so that you can better connect with others. For example if you are used to beating around the bush in your communication style and you know the other person wants you to be direct, you can step out of your comfort zone (putting their needs above your own) and be more direct (or visa versa).
What other ideas do you have? I would love to know.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Down with gossip
We will refrain from all gossip, backbiting and slander (Eph. 4:29). If any of us has a problem with others, we will talk to them, not about them. We will not listen to gossip, but will encourage others to speak directly with those with whom they have a concern.
At times in Christian circles we can joke around about gossip, but it is dangerous. It can destroy trust and relationships.
What is Gossip?
To gossip means to betray a confidence or to discuss unfavorable personal facts about another person with someone who is not part of the problem or its solution (Peacemaker). It is passing on information that you don’t need to. It could be rue or false. I does not need to involve malicious intent.
What does scripture say?
• A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends (Prov. 16:28).
• Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down (Prov. 26:20).
• A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret. (Prov. 11:12-13)
• A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much. (Prov. 20:19)
What should I do if someone starts to gossip to me?
• Stop the person and ask if they have talked to the person they are talking to you about. If not encourage them to go to the person. Offer to go with them if that would help.
• Ask why they are telling you this information, if you are not part of the problem or the solution politely stop the other person and tell them you don’t feel comfortable with what they are telling you.
As always, I would love any feedback you may have!
At times in Christian circles we can joke around about gossip, but it is dangerous. It can destroy trust and relationships.
What is Gossip?
To gossip means to betray a confidence or to discuss unfavorable personal facts about another person with someone who is not part of the problem or its solution (Peacemaker). It is passing on information that you don’t need to. It could be rue or false. I does not need to involve malicious intent.
What does scripture say?
• A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends (Prov. 16:28).
• Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down (Prov. 26:20).
• A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret. (Prov. 11:12-13)
• A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much. (Prov. 20:19)
What should I do if someone starts to gossip to me?
• Stop the person and ask if they have talked to the person they are talking to you about. If not encourage them to go to the person. Offer to go with them if that would help.
• Ask why they are telling you this information, if you are not part of the problem or the solution politely stop the other person and tell them you don’t feel comfortable with what they are telling you.
As always, I would love any feedback you may have!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Gently Restore
When we offer words of correction to others, we will do so graciously and gently, with the goal of serving and restoring them.
“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted”. (Gal 6:1)
“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing”. (Prov. 12:18)
The goal of correction is always restoration (not blasting). It should always be done graciously and gently (not harsh or vindictive). Here are some things to consider before gently correcting:
• Does it need to be confronted? ( dishonoring God, damage our relationship, hurting self or other people)
• Am I the right person (i.e. do I have the right motives, have I examined myself, is there someone closer to the situation who would be better to lovingly confront)?
• Is it the right time?
• Am I willing to see this through ( if our goal is restoration, then it may involve a process not just a “one and done” approach)
If you answer yes to these questions here are some things to consider about how to go about gently correcting:
• Pray for humility and wisdom
• Talk in person whenever possible (choose time and place carefully)
• Acknowledge your own faults and ask for forgiveness
• Perhaps ask “have I done something to offend you”? and then don’t be defensive, acknowledge what they say (even if you don’t agree with them).
• Use I statements when appropriate
• State objective facts rather than personal opinions
• Offer solutions and preferences that may help them. For example, “in the future when… it would be helpful if you…”
• Use scripture carefully and tactfully (not as a club to beat people over the head).
As always, I would love any feedback you may have!
“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted”. (Gal 6:1)
“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing”. (Prov. 12:18)
The goal of correction is always restoration (not blasting). It should always be done graciously and gently (not harsh or vindictive). Here are some things to consider before gently correcting:
• Does it need to be confronted? ( dishonoring God, damage our relationship, hurting self or other people)
• Am I the right person (i.e. do I have the right motives, have I examined myself, is there someone closer to the situation who would be better to lovingly confront)?
• Is it the right time?
• Am I willing to see this through ( if our goal is restoration, then it may involve a process not just a “one and done” approach)
If you answer yes to these questions here are some things to consider about how to go about gently correcting:
• Pray for humility and wisdom
• Talk in person whenever possible (choose time and place carefully)
• Acknowledge your own faults and ask for forgiveness
• Perhaps ask “have I done something to offend you”? and then don’t be defensive, acknowledge what they say (even if you don’t agree with them).
• Use I statements when appropriate
• State objective facts rather than personal opinions
• Offer solutions and preferences that may help them. For example, “in the future when… it would be helpful if you…”
• Use scripture carefully and tactfully (not as a club to beat people over the head).
As always, I would love any feedback you may have!
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